Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
