so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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