I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Randomize
