the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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