So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my shit smells like andre
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
