Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
