Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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