I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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