This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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