I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
