You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
