Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he quoted the bible to break up with me
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
