it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
we should paint friendship bongs
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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