if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
