How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
