Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
