id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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