Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
