so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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