We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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