I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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