6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
