sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
