High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
