the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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