my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
