hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
