trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
