i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We had sex on a dog bed..
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
