Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
