Dude my mom stole all your condoms
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
