found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
