Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
