did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The power of my boobs compel you
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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