I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We are all done wearing pants today
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
