How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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