now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
