if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
