butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Boobs speak an international language.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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