this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
