Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
