So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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