i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
