i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
