I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
