remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
