My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
pray to the hookup gods
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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