Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
