we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
