i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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