She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
