You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
